Joey's Babysitting Skills
by Yami Amethyst Rose
Summary: The long awaited sequel is here! Joey is left for an entire week with his nephew, and trouble is about to take a new turn for him! How wil he survive the baby's wrath?
1. Chapter 1

I know that things haven't gone as planned, but there was something that I wanted to do. For the fans of Joey's Perfect Girlfriend, here's the sequel: Joey's Babysitting Skills!

Hey, guys! Remember me? Tha name's Joey Wheeler, third best duelist in the world, and toughest guy in Domino. Now, I know that we left a cliffhanger when we last saw me and I wasn't in the greatest mood of them all. Yeah, that rich jerk Kaiba is now my brother-in-law, and my sister already had the baby after the wedding.

If you really want to know what my situation is right now, it's a _really_ long story. Now I heard a crash in the bathroom, and ran down there to find the son of the devil incarnate, aka my nephew Saito, digging into the toothpaste and squirt the whole thing right on my shirt and face. I grabbed the little junior jerk and put him in my sis's old room, locking the door to make sure that he didn't get out.

About that story.....Yeah, my life is ruined.

See, a few months after my nephew was born, Seren came to the door holding everything for the baby. I was so confused about what was going on, but she told me that her and Moneybags were taking their honeymoon now, and they couldn't take their son with them. So, me and Mai were stuck with caring for my relative for the next two weeks.

~Flashback~

"_What!? Are you serious?! I can't take care of that...that monster!"_

"_Joey, we been through this on the phone. Seto and I are going to take our honeymoon now because I don't want to regret this in memories to come. Now, if even one hair is missing or bruise is seen __**on**__ my son, you'll never be able to see the light of day ever again and I'll be sure that precious deck of yours is burned to the ground! Understand!?"_

~End~

You be scared too if your sister went crazy! Now, a week after we got the baby, Mai said to me that she had to leave for her family reunion for the rest of this week. Is she crazy!? I don't even know how to take care of a baby! Well, if you want to know the dialogue for that, in your dreams. The argument was very long and a few "choice" words were said, so I spare you the agony of it.

So, the week of my worst life began, with me taking care of the devil incarnate's son. I heard him crying and went into the room, smelling a putrid odor in the air.......Oh no. Anything but diapers! I went through therapy to get over that! Great, now my life's even worse!

R&R, people!


	2. Chapter 2

Alright, here's the next part of Joey's Babysitting Skills!

Okay, I took care of what would require another therapy session with the shrink and fed the little brat. After I got everything taken care of him with all of the mess cleared up, I went into my room and started to go to sleep, when I heard that devil incarnate cry through the sound barrier. I tried to block the noise with my pillow, but it didn't do anything! So, it took another hour and a half to get him to sleep, so I can get some myself!

I don't know why in the world would my sister trust me with my own nephew. I mean, come on! She knew back then that me and Richboy don't ever get along, and even to this very day, we still hate each other. I glanced at the time, and it showed it was about close to midnight. I dragged my restless body with the feet that was like wooden shoes in the winter, when suddenly he started crying, again! How much do they even keep this kid asleep!? Forty-five minutes later, he's back to sleep.

Ten minutes later, he's back to crying! Another hour wasted of putting him to sleep. The time was close to 1:30!

Thirty minutes later, I heard him again. I want to tape his mouth so bad, but then again...I didn't want to face Serenity's wrath. Back to cradling Saito.

Twenty-five minutes into the night...Yeah, you know the drill.

Every time I went into my room, I had to come out to get that little devil to sleep! What did my sis do to keep him asleep for good!? I would call her, but then...I might ruin her little time with Kaiba. Who to call? Who to talk to about this? Then, I remembered that Yami gave me his phone number, and I gave him a call to tell him my situation.

"_...Joey...Do you know what time it is!?"_

"Yeah.....do you know how to put a baby to sleep?"

"_Sing a lullaby...Bye."_

After that, the brat started crying again. With him finally asleep, I glanced at the clock, and it read......5:30!!! That little jerk kept me up all night, and I'm feeling all cranky today! I curse the day that this evil child was born! What did I do to deserve this!? Well, no moping about it now. Let's add this to the list of discussions to the shrink after Serenity comes and takes this monster away.

R&R, people!


	3. Chapter 3

The plan was for me to actually write all the parts and post them in one day. So, here's the third part of Joey's Babysitting Skills!

The second day of the week of having that monster around. I think that Richboy Jr. is planning something today, and I can't fall for it. Well, I glanced at the schedule and it was...bath time!? Oh nonononono!! I don't want to clean him, but I have to. So, where should I bathe him? Can't be the bathroom tub, 'cause I don't want him drowning if I left the water running. Then, there was the kitchen sink. Those people on TV did say that you have to keep a baby's head above the water.

Getting that monster undress and into the sink full of water was no easy picnic. He kept hitting me with his rattle and drooling on my shirt! After ten minutes, but a few seconds later...he squirted the dish soap into my eyes! It burns, and it's worse than the iodine! Great, the Joey Wheeler is getting schooled by a baby! I had to dress him again and wash off the excess soap out of my eyes, but closed the door to make sure he never came out.

The next thing was feeding time. I was so hungry, but the baby comes first and I hated that stupid factor.

Okay, the outcome of the feeding time was going nowhere with me. He kept refusing to eat from me, and threw his food at my face. He was enjoying this, and I was about to explode when a knock came at my door. I saw that Amy and Yami were here to visit me. I say, save me from this torture!

"Is the baby really giving you that much trouble, Joey?"

"Nothing I can't handle." Yeah, lying is a sure comeback for pain.

"Serenity just wants to do any feeding and surveillance just in case, since Saito doesn't like you on the account of him having his father's attitude towards you. Are you feeding him the bottle of breast milk that Serenity packed?"

"Uhhh...no." In truth, I never actually checked the whole bag.

"He's only several months old, and he can't consume whole food just yet."

Leave it to Amy to be the expert. After that, it was time for him to get changed again. I pleaded both of them to help me on this one, but they passed and told me to do it. They bid goodbye since they were planning on their wedding later on, leaving me with nothing to do but add a few more things to discuss with the shrink.

R&R, people!


	4. Chapter 4

Alright, fans! Here's the fourth part of Joey's Babysitting Skills!

The third day went adequate as Amy and Yami took care of the baby while I went towards my job, since I needed to get more funds to buy stuff that was needed in the house. Once I have gotten everything, both of them joined me for pizza after Amy put the baby to sleep in the evening and bid goodbye. I was relaxed, and they did save me from one day of torture. But something's still not right. How come every time when I'm alone with Richboy Jr., he tortures with me and whenever company arrives, he acts so cute and innocent? That monstrous kid got something on its mind, and I'm going to find out what!

The fourth day...Not so surprising, since I had to repeat everything on the list. Then, that awful smell came into mind, and I didn't want to change the diapers again. Now, I loathe changing diapers as much as the next guy, but if you're were in my shoes...You'll be taking showers for the rest of your life if you were left with a child! That kid refused to put on the fresh diaper, and instead urinated on me! Yuck! Double Yuck!! Then, he picked up the stinking old diaper, and threw it on my face!

Twenty minutes later, after ten washes to get the stink off and five brushes to get the taste out, I smelt something burning on my foot. I prayed to God that I didn't want to look, and saw my foot on fire!! Ahhhhh!!! I ran around to find the extinguisher to tame this freaking fire, and found it. Another forty minutes later, I had to stagger around the house with my unusable foot! I expect that Saito did this! That insolent child shall pay! But, then...my sis will mutilate me for killing her son.

"Why was I cursed!? Tell me Why!!!"

Feeding time went even worse, since Amy took Yami to pick out the wedding cake and set up the preparations. The baby kept throwing the food that I got yesterday at me, and then squirted the water from its bottle like a gun! When Serenity gets home, I want her to instruct this little sucker into obeying me!

"Okay, Joey....Breath in and out. Don't let your anger get the better of you...Just three more days..."

I wish I was liberated! Then, I wouldn't put up with this crap of children forever! Daylight turned into evening as I put him to sleep and started to make my dinner for the night. I can't believe that kid is outsmarting me in every way possible! My self-esteem is already disfigured, patience is wearing sour, and my sanity was on the line!

R&R, people!


	5. Chapter 5

Slight delay on my daily schedule, but I can handle writing another chapter. Here's the fifth part of Joey's Babysitting Skills!

So...much...anger. I wasn't getting the best results with Lil' Moneybags around. He caused me the worst days to have and the engaged couple still showed up to only feed him. I don't know how that brat changed personalities when other people are around, and be mean to me once they're gone. Just two more days, Joey, and then you'll free of this monster forever. Speaking of the monster, he started crying again when he woke up and I had to take care of it before Seren gets home.

Three hours later, he was still crying! I'm losing my mind in this room, and this was going to be a beginning of insanity! Before that happened, someone was calling the house and I had to pick it up, knowing that Amy was an expert when coming to kids. And whata you know, it was her!

"_Joey, is that Saito crying?"_

"I can't get him to stop!"

"_Did you try patting him on the back? Perhaps he has gas building up."_

Oops. I tried out Amy's suggestion and it worked, only he barfed on my shirt! This is just great, and I just got this shirt for the holidays! I put him back into the room, opening the window about a quarter of the way to get the stench out. I told the scampering miniature runt that I'll be back to take him out to the park as soon as I was done cleaning his mess. What did I do to deserve such abuse from a freaking toddler!? Did Lady Luck leave me to endure such misery, or did she had a rendezvous with Father Time!?

Now, I was done with the cleaning and headed back into the room, only to find that the baby...disappeared?! Nonononononono!! This can't be happening! I left for ten minutes, and now he's vanished. Can't call Seren, 'cause she and Kaiba will slaughter me! Mokuba? No, that's even worse. He'll almost certainly inform his brother. There was only a few selections left, so I called Yami, Yugi, and Amy to tell them of the bad news, but that same line always repeat itself:

"_You Lost The Baby?!!?!?!?!?"_

I have to find him, or my life and deck is doomed: from the wrath of my sister!! I don't think that police will be of support for me, otherwise they'll notify the couple of what happened.

Calm down, Joey....This is the fifth day, in the middle of the afternoon. How far can a baby go anyway?

R&R, people!


	6. Chapter 6

The sixth part of Joey's Babysitting Skills is here! I might have to take a vacation from writing until my ideas come back to me again.

"I can't believe this!? I don't want ma sis killin' me!"

"We'll find him, so quit whining!"

And the frantic search for Saito began. I can't believe I lost the baby after ten minutes to wash my shirt! This is not a very good sign, as the sixth day came forth into the morning once my friends started searching the whole city for him. What's even worse was that Kaiba and Seren were returning in the morning! If I don't find my nephew...goodbye world and my deck! I checked the lower parts of Domino, ran and punched a few guys, but no sign of the insolent child. Where, in this huge city, can that monster be!?

Amy had no luck, and Yami was the same. Yugi tried to convince me to call Mokuba, but I told him no and that Moneybags will kill me if anything happened to his son! Serenity was even worse when it came having that kid. Trust me, I had those stupid bathtub lessons before Saito was born and it wasn't pretty! Tristan wasn't getting anywhere, and Ryou told me he had to get his idiotic dark half out of jail because of what happened a few months ago.

"He ain't 'round the city! What if he was kidnapped!?"

"Wouldn't there be a ransom note if that did happen?"

"Yami, don't change the facts!"

After hours of searching, we went towards my apartment to call the police. Amy went to observe the room of where Saito slept, and shouted at me from that spot. I still had to window opened...Oh no. Please for Christ's sake he didn't fall out from there?! We heard crying coming from the closet, and opened to find...the monstrous kid in there! He was trying to get me in trouble throughout the entire day, and almost worked like a charm!

After getting some relief off our backs, everyone left to go back to their normal routine and I needed some enjoyment. Good thing I still had a few copies of that porn that Serenity tried to burn. Putting one in the receiver, I was too tired to get Saito to nap and slept on the couch. I felt something on my stomach, but it must be a cushion.

~_In the mind of Saito_~

'**Get uncle in a dilemma with Mommy and Daddy. Watch this and surprise them. Then, see uncle cry like little girl and benefit from it.'**

R&R, people!


	7. Chapter 7

I should really finish this story up before I lose any interest in writing. For all the fans, here's the final part of Joey's Babysitting Skills! Note that this is going to switch from normal to Joey's POV.

-Normal POV-

Serenity had just arrived in front of her former living space with her husband to pick up Saito. She hoped that Mai and Joey handled enough of Saito since he wasn't used to Joey so much, due to him acquiring his father's hatred of him. Seto, who really hated his brother-in-law, wanted to make sure that his future heir was taken care of as well. He knows about Serenity's temper with her son, and he didn't want to provoke anything that will caused her to go berserk. When they got to Joey's door, Serenity took out the spare key that Mai gave to her in case things went wrong, opened the door to see that the TV was blank and their son sitting right on the couch, wide awake.

"Saito...it's me, Mommy."

"Mommy....Daddy..."

"His first words...He really is a genius like his own father."

"Daddy screw Mommy big time."

"What the!?"

"Seto, you do know the 'F' word right?"

"I know what you're thinking: No. I didn't say that towards my own son, but I know someone that did."

"These look like...those stupid pornography tapes that I burned weeks ago before I moved in! Oh no he didn't...Joey is gonna pay!"

=Joey's POV=

So sleepy. I haven't heard that runt since last night, and I thought that Serenity took him home...Oh no! I forgot that they were coming this morning! Please let it still be night, because I left the tape running.

"_JOSEPH 'DANIELLE' WHEELER!!_"

That loud shout woke me up instantly, and I fell off the couch to see a fuming Serenity and Kaiba, and they were holding that monster in their hands. I did not want to know what I did, and I know well that I didn't touch the kid in any way shape or form! Wait, that pillow I felt last night...It was that monster! He was watching the tape while I was asleep, and I didn't lock that door to keep him in there! Serenity came to me with a glare that scared the heck outta me, and even Kaiba was scared. When you angered my sister, there's only a couple of things to do: Run or face her wrath!

"How dare you tainted my own son! Now he's going to get baptized again because of you, and you're going to pay big time!"

"Roland, take Saito and wait in the limo. I'm going to have a little 'talk' with Wheeler."

I didn't like this one bit at all. I pleaded for mercy, but that didn't come. Nothing can stop my sister, and Kaiba being around was even worse. Serenity got the iodine from before, and Kaiba started beating the crap out of me. Why me? Why do I have to suffer this way? Where was the guys when you need them!? After thirty whole minutes of torturing pain, I had seventeen bruises, ten cuts, pain from the iodine in my eyes, three kicks to where the sun don't shine, and one broken hand. It's a good thing that I had Yugi watch my deck, otherwise I will never duel again without it! Once they left, I had relief and pain at the same time. Then out of the blue, Mai came in a hour later and saw me in this kind of situation.

"Joey, what happened to you!?"

"Mai?"

"Yeah?"

"The next time we try to baby-sit Saito, let's plan a vacation on that day. I want to avoid my sister at all costs, and I don't want to take care of that monster anymore! Serenity went berserk on me, and I look like this! Call the hospital, then call the shrink. Tell him that I going to have another session with him about this week."

Their honeymoon may be over, but the torture had just begun!

R&R, people!


End file.
